New Beginning...yet again.

And here it starts. The Beginning of the penultimate lap....I just hope it lives up to the Hype!! :-D

Akhir dekhen to sahi ye naukri ka hauwwa kis baat ka hai...;-)

See you folks at the other end ...signing out from Mumbai.

All things bright and beautiful.

First hand experience of how myopic one's vision becomes when frustrated has been very enlightening. And finally the clouds have parted and I am on my way to join a company in Hyderabad this very weekend. Yes, all efforts have finally come to fruition and one is very happy about it. I can now appreciate the little things in life which for the last few weeks I just couldn't see like - American bigotry over now declaring Dawood as a threat to world peace and my mixed feelings over Sanjay Dutt's verdict! :-)

Lot of things need to be done at this last moment. And I finally enter unchartered territory. The deepest fears about going where no one from my batch of people has gone has given me some grief in the darkest corners of my mind. I will finally come face to face with it. It could all be one horrible mistake. It could also be the most glorious phase that I can ever see. Either way, the decision has been mine to take and live.

Folks at home are happy and proud that I managed to start off my career at the note that I wished to, instead of taking the easier way out. And all this while that I never felt excited about joining Wipro, I felt really guilty. I know that even right now there are many who would feel really privileged to be placed in a company like Wipro and it felt really thankless on my behalf that I didn't appreciate its worth. But somewhere I knew I didn't want this...no matter how good it was. And yesterday when I finally found out that I have been selected for this particular job- I felt the joy befitting that of a first job one is probably supposed to feel. May be it was a cumulative effect of all the frustration of waiting, anticipation of the interview results, the sheer novelty of this whole field - but, it did feel awesome! More than being a software engineer ever did.

The bottom line for me is however that I will not be "yet another IT professional!" :-) [No disrespect meant to IT professionals in anyway!] Wish me luck people!

Full of myself.

I hold a very different view of the above term these days. Far from being a pompous, satisfied person to me this means being full of my own shit. The frustration of opening my mail box daily in the afternoon, which is when I wake up, in the process of whiling away a part of my day in slumber, for the now oh-so-elusive mail for my joining to the disgruntled feeling of not being able to get what I want has filled every bit of me. All to a very shocking result. I have become super emotional.

Like the proverbial glass filled to the brim, I now start spilling tears or feel all choked up in the least, every time one of the following happens -

1. Household bickerings - any sort. Mom complaining about me being a sloth, to her complains about my Dad. The minutest complaints about neighbours. Or the very innocent remark about people doing well in life/job (which invariably makes me feel that I am not - though its not implied in any ways!). Even stupid remarks by my sister how her friend's sis is "so cool!".
   
2. Inane television or news stories : The story of Mrityunjay the kid with 26 stab marks and abandoned brought me to tears which in any normal circumstance would have just had me plain angry at the mother. Random wives being assaulted by their husbands or vice-versa. Mohd Haneef calling his daughter an angel brought tears to his eyes and well, while there wasn't any news flash - it did to mine too!
   
3. Happy Stories : To avoid the above stories, I generally watch Discovery Travel and Living - the glamourous cousin of Discovery Channel. To my dismay happy wedding stories too seem to well me up!!
   
4. Soon to be scenario : I am definitely howling at the top of my voice the next time anyone asks me about an interview update by any company or updates about the Date of Joining by Wipro. Coz you know what, going by the fact that I am a big mouth, you will know even without asking if anything positive happens to me. The fact that I haven't said anything would definitely mean - Nothing has!

The only good thing that happened to me off late has been an interview call from Bloomberg. I'll save everyone the trouble of reading it further for the results - I didn't make it through eventually. But all in all, it was one hell of an experience and a small glimpse of how I wanted to see myself some years down the line. The best part which made me feel really great after a long long time was being shortlisted amongst people who all had either a huge work experience (2 - 5 yrs) or a post grad degree from the world over. That I was the only fresher in this lot of people who came from Goldman Sachs to Dun & Bradstreet from Universities ranked in the top 30 in the world, made me feel a lot more accomplished than this whole process of getting a job year and a half in advance and eventually sitting at home has!

Met some very interesting people in the process. Felt like a kid the first time in front of them all. But now its all back to normal. Back to feeling queasy, bored, doing nothing. Back to waiting.